How to save a life....My own life....letting go is good.....it feels fucking good....it's not easy but that's where the challenge lies....and DG never hides from a challenge...I'm just lucky to have some great friends and family and most importantly a higher power...I don't have to life just for today coz he promises me eternal life....That's the only light in the midst of all the fucking darkness....turning point....realising I don't need to do anything...all I need to do is let go....like doing the backstroke or skydiving.....knowing that he will cushion my fall and be there....that he will love me no matter what I do....it's hard not to reciprocate....I love the chase but for once I'm going to just let go...I surrender all...I surrender all and trust he will be my strength and my shield

It's been ages since I have written anything. Life has been so overwhelming that all my senses just shutdown. I am not committed to anything but one thing that always gets my full attention are good books. Of late, I have not been able to finish a single book. I tried long books, short books, fiction, non-fiction, I tried it all and was heartbroken. My one passion was dampened. Thank god I have got back my spark. I have always believed in God and been grateful but this time I owe him my sanity. I could not read, sleep, lost my appetite, I was a shadow of myself but then I decided to well and truly let go and now I'm a different person, a better person. I have always decided to let go but kept a plan B, a life-raft and that was my problem. This time as I had nothing to lose and nothing mattered to me anymore, I just let go. What an experience. I feel so light inside. Nothing affects me. My calm is permanent. Love, joy and peace are my new keywords. I have realised the meaning of grace and am basking in it. He died for my sins and his blood sets me free. I did nothing to earn his love. He loves me because I am his and am created in his image. I have stopped trying to be perfect because I don't need to be. I am not called to be perfect. I am called to love him. God is love and is there to take your hand...only if you let him

Have you ever been so excited that your mind keeps speeding like an express train on the same track? That's how I am right now. I can't think straight. My mind has been derailed or actually it's running on a single set of tracks. I'm going on holiday to the most beautiful place and I just can't wait. I can't even sleep properly because I'm so goddam excited. I am so full of nervous, anticipatory energy I can't sit still! It's nice but it's weird too. I can't think of anything else. Have you ever wanted something so badly that when you actually get it you go into shock. My senses have shut down! System overload! I so happy! The worst has reaped the best! Ever the optimist...it works wonders....atleast for me! When I give up hope. When I can see the end of the road and am ready to backtrack, the light breaks through! Fuck...I can't see!